


avalanche

by obstinateRixatrix



Series: the two-part galpal character study bonanza, featuring: these teens and their emotions [2]
Category: Persona 4
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-06-14
Packaged: 2018-04-04 07:41:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4129978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obstinateRixatrix/pseuds/obstinateRixatrix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She's not ready to leave. Not yet.</p><p>(companion piece to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/3511034">hold it in</a>)</p>
            </blockquote>





	avalanche

**Author's Note:**

> alternate title: Too Many Itallics, Too Many Ellipses

The first time she realizes she might be in love, it's an underwhelming epiphany. She's ten, huddled under a makeshift pillow fort held up by amateur architecture mixed with childish optimism. Chie is sprawled out next to her, complaining about one of the guys in their class - apparently he made a dig about how she's 'manly enough that no guy would want to marry her,' which, in Yukiko's opinion, doesn't make any sense. It's an opinion her friend seems to echo. Still, after a rant about "stupid Takeshi and his big mouth and his weird nose and his gross laugh," she goes quiet and pensive, thoughtful in a way that seems dangerous to interrupt. After a while, she says in a small voice, "nobody's gonna want to spend the rest of their life with someone like me."

"I'd want to spend the rest of my life with someone like you," is Yukiko's immediate response, and the answering grin fills her with an oddly insistent giddiness that tugs at her mind long after the collapse of their fort.

The more she thinks about it, the more appealing the idea of it is.

 

* * *

  

"Yukiko," someone calls, and when she turns around there's... someone. Some guy she doesn't recognize.

"Can I help you?" she asks, making an effort to maintain her 'neutral employee' voice.

"Well, Yukiko-"

"Please don't be so familiar with me."

He clears his throat - it's a grating sound, not unlike a motor coughing out gravel. "Right, sorry. So, Yukiko-san..."

And there's where he stops. An uncomfortable silence descends upon them like a guillotine, heralded by the awkward squeak of her classmate's (?) sneakers against the old wooden floorboards of the practice building. Shuffling in place, he almost looks... expectant? It's unnerving.

Just when it seems he _might_ (finally) be ready to speak up, she sees a familiar face.

"Kanji-kun," she calls, waving him down. "Are you lurking outside the crafts club again?"

The boy in question sputters a bit, bristling with indignation. "Hell no! None of your business!"

Yukiko can't help but giggle. He's always been such a shy child. "My kimono got torn during work. Nothing serious, just a couple ripped seams. Do you think you could take a look at it?"

"Jeez senpai, you gotta be more careful. Bring it to the shop sometime after school, alright?" He notices the boy at her side. "Who's this?"

"Oh, that’s..." a good question, actually. She turns to him, tilting her head. "What was your name again?"

He lets out a noise that kind of sounds like a warble and a closed-mouth shriek, turns on his heel, and walks away at a brisk gait.

"...well, that was a bit rude."

 

* * *

 

"He was trying to ask you out."

"What?"

Chie lets out a huff of laughter, caught somewhere between incredulous, and fond, and... maybe something else. "Come on, why else does any guy bother you?" She sits up, twisting so that she's facing Yukiko, one leg dangling over the edge of the bed, the other crossed beneath her. "He was probably hoping you were going ask him what he wanted, or if he was feeling alright. I wouldn't be surprised if he had one of those scripted pickup lines ready."

"Oh. Like a skit?"

"No, not like a- well, I guess it kind of is..."

"I wish he told me. I would've played along."

"You _would?_ "

"Well, maybe." It certainly sounds like a better time than suffering through drunk customers, with their wandering hands and slurred innuendos. Would she be the funny man or the straight man? If the jokes are good enough, she might laugh too hard to be either...

"I dunno," Chie says, bringing Yukiko out of her musings. "It sounds kinda risky - guys like that never know when to take no for an answer, especially if you humor them."

Snrk. Humor. That's a good one.

A smile tugs at her lips, in part from the accidental pun, but mostly from the warm familiarity of Chie’s protective streak. It's not the first time she's experienced it, but it's always reassuring to know that someone's looking out for her. "I think I'll be okay, but I'll let you know if he comes up to me again."

That is, if she can remember what he looks like.

Chie takes one look at her face, and lets out a sigh.

 

* * *

 

Sometimes Chie gets this... look. When she thinks no one's paying attention. It's not quite pained, but it's a second of... panic? _Something_ flits across her face, and really, it's just like her to shoulder whatever it is by herself. It's worst when they're alone, when Yukiko knows there's something she should say, some sort of acknowledgement, but she can never bring herself to say anything beyond a generic 'I'm here for you'. She's clumsy at  handling other people's emotions. When it comes to this, she's just so... useless. Worthless, maybe. After all Chie's done for her, she can't even...

It's not something she wants to mess up. It's too important. Chie's too important.

 

* * *

 

"Chie-senpai's been looking kind of tired lately," Rise mentions as an offhanded aside. It feels like it might be borderline concern, like she's not quite sure _what_ she's noticed, if it's even worth bringing up.

Yukiko takes a sip of tea, mulling over what might be a good response.  "I think she's hiding something from me," is what she ends up going with.

"Maybe she's in love!"

"No, she can't be."

Rise blinks, a bit surprised at the quick and definitive answer. "Well, what do you think it could be?"

Yukiko shrugs. "It's not..." she tries, but she's drawing a blank. "It seems like something she can't tell me. Not yet. I don't know."

"Something she can't tell you? That's a bit of a surprise. You guys seem like the type to tell each other pretty much anything."

"Do we?"

"Well, yeah." She stares at Yukiko thoughtfully.  "If it's not something she can talk about, do you think it could have something to do with..."

"With..?"

"...Her shadow?"

Chie's shadow... she's never seen it, despite the fact it apparently showed up in 'her' castle. She's never asked, either - it's not really a casual topic of conversation. All she really knows about the matter is after taking her home, Chie told her in a quiet voice that she was important, that she mattered, that she was the reason Chie could be strong. The air was stifled, choked with something Yukiko still can't quite put her finger on. "It happened a while ago," she says, her mind still at that spring afternoon.

"Shadows don't go away, senpai."

Yukiko thinks of the job license, hidden beneath her mattress.

 

* * *

 

She's gotten better at cooking. At least, she's pretty sure she has, given that Souji doesn’t wince when she flourishes her latest experiments. There are occasions where he pales at the sight of her boxed lunches and hands them back, half-eaten, with a defeated expression. But it's been happening less and less.

The secret seems to be to follow the recipe to the letter, however boring it might be. Don’t add extraneous ingredients to spruce things up a bit; save the sprinkles, put away the frosting, it doesn’t belong on tofu.

Maybe what she makes isn’t the height of culinary artistry, but it’s edible.

When she thinks of what she’s practicing for, she feels a thrill of anticipation and resolve, and maybe... something else.

 

* * *

 

Another day, another. Well. 'Failed comedy skit' would be a generous description of the encounter, she supposes. He flubs his lines, neglects to give her a script, and fails to bring any good jokes to the table. It is, in fact, not a better time than handling drunk customers. Two out of ten.

It also goes on for much too long, so after tuning out some stilted attempts at banter, she excuses herself for work at the inn. Or at least, she tries to. Every time she does, he launches into an entirely different (yet somehow identical) script. After yet another variation of 'do you believe in love at first slight or should I- wait, shit,' Yukiko just. Walks away.

She hears the rhythmic crescendo of footsteps trailing behind her, but luckily it's not the beginning of act two. It's what Chie would probably call (pfft) a disappointment of a different kind.

“Wow, no mercy. You're just like Naoto.”

“Oh, Yosuke-kun.” That's not a comparison she usually hears. “How so?”

“One time I saw her find a letter in her shoebox. She didn't even look at it - just dropped it into the nearest garbage can.”

“I fail to see how that’s any of your business.”

Yosuke lets out a startled sound as Naoto appears behind him, fumbling not to drop his bag. She’s got that look she gets where she's not physically rolling her eyes, but she might as well be.

"I'm not going indulge in a waste of everyone's time. It's all attention I don't want and don't encourage." It seems like a conversation the detective's had before, judging from the clipped tone she takes.

"Woah there, I'm not saying it's a _bad_ thing."  Yosuke shrugs. "I'm just saying you and Yukiko make a good duo. If you team up with Souji, you guys could break all the hearts in Inaba."

"Still a waste of time, senpai. Besides, our behavior is hardly comparable. I know full well what I'm doing." She turns her attention to Yukiko, fixing her in what Rise likes to call 'the Loveline Beam.' "Senpai, I can’t pretend to be an expert on the subject, but surely you realize that the people who keep approaching you are pursuing a romantic interest?"

"Well..." it's just not what she thinks of as romance. No flowers, no moonlight rendezvous, no gravity of attraction... just some stranger getting in her way, trying to drag her into something she doesn't want to do. Which happens enough on its own. What's romantic about that?

Besides, to them she's never seen as Yukiko Amagi, she's the Future Innkeep, the Amagi Challenge, or if they have a death wish, the Scoring Princess. She could suffocate beneath the layers of labels plastered over her.

"I just don't see the point."

Yosuke huffs out a laugh and a "classic Yukiko," but Naoto nods with what might be a hint of understanding.

 

* * *

 

"Yukiko, watch the front desk." Her mother rushes out the lobby, swept into some administrative emergency, leaving her to attend to all the jetlagged and belligerent vacationers. "It'll be great practice, you'll do fine, remember to smile!"

"Yukiko, work the next shift." Her dad emerges from the back room, maybe in the fifth hour (and counting) of taking inventory. "I know it's been a long day, but we need you. This is something you'll just have to learn to deal with."

"Yukiko, bring out some tea." Kasai balances three trays on her own - one in each hand, one on the crook of her arm. "The room down the hall, I know they've been difficult but I know you can handle it."

"I can't stay," is something Yukiko can't bring herself to say. Not yet.

 

* * *

 

 "Yuki-chan! Chie-chan is being so cold," Teddie wails. "Heal me with your warm embrace!"

Yukiko sidesteps when he launches himself at her, leaving the blond to kiss concrete.

"So cruel... this treatment is unbearable..."

"Stop being so dramatic Ted," Chie scolds, rolling her eyes. "I'll get you a topsicle, but _only_ one. Do you want one, Yukiko?"

"No thanks."

As Chie heads out on her quest to stop Teddie's pathetic whining, the bear gapes. "Why would you _turn down_ a _topsicle?_ "

"I have to watch my weight, Teddie."

"Why?"

That’s… actually a tough one. If she had to think about it, it’s an idea she might’ve latched onto as a requirement to maintain appearances for the inn, to be a daughter her parents could showcase with pride. Or it could be something she picked up from her classmates as they gossiped amongst themselves, about so-and-so who _obviously_ went off her diet, isn’t that pathetic, there’s nothing worse than a girl who has nothing going for her. Or maybe it’s a habit picked up from when she was young and foolish, striving for that impossible dream of getting whisked away by Prince Charming; she couldn't disappoint him, after all. She's had to live up to so many expectations, imposed by so many people (herself included), it’s hard to pick.

Luckily, Chie shows up before she has to tease apart that tangle of thoughts. The topsicle derails Teddy entirely, and with a whoop of delight he launches himself at it.

"Jeez, you'd think Yosuke starves him or something.” Chie scoffs, exasperation with a hint of fondness. “Oh, speaking of Yosuke, he was telling me about the guy that wouldn’t leave you alone. Was it the same guy that’s been bugging you?”

"That's..." yet another very good question. He had brown hair, like the other guy. A nose. Eyebrows did exist. "Maybe?"

"Gasp! Is some heinous fiend giving you grief, Yuki-chan?"

"Ted, you don't have to _say_ gasp-"

“Never fear, I'll be your knight!” he proclaims with a theatrical flourish. “No scoundrel will give you trouble with me to protect you!"

"That might be a little more convincing if your tongue wasn't purple.”

“But Chie, purple is the color of manliness!” Teddie puffs out his chest, looking about as intimidating as a limp noodle.

"I'll be alright,” Yukiko says, muffling laughter behind her hand. “He's probably not going to bother me again."

 

* * *

 

There's a letter in her shoebox. It's written in careful calligraphy, asking her to come to the sports equipment storage unit after school. It's very definitely a letter of challenge, and Yukiko laments her lack of foresight - the one time she leaves her fan at home.

Well, maybe she can borrow something from the kendo club.

 

* * *

 

"He's going to the movies with me tonight," says a girl she doesn't know about a boy she doesn't know. There's a challenge in her eye, and really, Yukiko's never one to pass a challenge, but. She had no idea what the challenge is.

"Alright," is what she settles for. "Is this where we fight?"

The girl sputters a bit before managing a high-pitched "Excuse me?"

"I'm not sure what the rules are," Yukiko continues, rolling up her sleeves, "but I'll try to avoid the face. Since you're going on a date." Really, she's being so gracious. She takes a step forward, but before anyone can land the first blow, Chie rushes into the scene with Souji and Yosuke in tow.

"Yukiko," she yells somehow, despite being obviously out of breath. "What are you doing?"

"Fighting, probably. Isn't it exciting!"

"What?" Chie looks at the the mystery girl.

"What?" Mystery girl looks at Chie.

"Knock her out," Souji calls, before Yosuke elbows him in the gut.

"Look, I don't know what's going on-"

"We're fighting, Yosuke-kun."

" _-but_ there's got to be a better way to handle this!"

"Oh, I don't know. I think it'll be fun!" She kind of expected him, of all people, to understand, but oh well. The girl next to her shakes her head furiously.

"Look, I don’t know _what_ she's talking about - I'm only doing this as a favor for a friend!"

Chie clutches at her chest. " _Someone sent you to fight her!?_ ”

“No! There’s no fighting going on! I was trying to make her jealous so she'd ask him out! He's an idiot, but he’s not a bad guy, just-"

"Don't tell them that!"

A boy bursts out of the storage unit, flustered to the point of being flushed. His uniform is also covered in dust - just how long has he been in there?

“Wait a second, I know you… you’re the guy who tried to bribe me with steak skewers the other day!”

“Did that _work?_ ”

Chie stomps on Yosuke’s foot, leaving him to hop in agony, and while normally that'd be something she'd find hilarious, there's something that kind of sticks out. "He approached you?"

Chie rubs at the back of her neck, glancing off to the side. "Well, yeah, he said a bunch of stuff but it's not important."

The thing is, whenever she says something's 'not important' Yukiko knows it's a pretty good bet that whatever happened is 1) very important and 2) guaranteed to _piss her off_. "What did he say." She turns to the newcomer. " _What did you say._ "

"I think you might want to calm down," Souji suggests, which. Okay. Reasonable. But also consider: no.

"Really? _She's_ the one you like?"

The dead man walking shushes his friend, who's gradually been edging behind him. "I was only asking her what kind of guy you go for," he explains, raising his hands in what he probably hopes to be a mollifying fashion. He squares his shoulder, taking a deep breath. "Look, I know I'm not the smoothest guy around, I know I've messed up a lot, but I really like you! Just, please, give me a chance."

It's a sincere, heartfelt plea, one that betrays an intense desperation, a helpless longing. With everyone's apprehensive gaze fixed on her, Yukiko narrows her eyes.

"No."

The rejection seems to be too much - he recoils as if struck. "Honestly, what was he expecting," Yosuke mutters, covering his face in what's probably an attempt to escape from this bullshit.

"I'm not interested, and I don't have time for this." She can't believe she has to spell this out. "I don't even know you."

"But you could! I could be the kind of guy you like, you just don't know yet! Just let me prove to you I'm worth knowing!"

"Look, she _said_ no, so why don't you-"

He smacks Chie's placating arm, shoving her aside with an impatient "Stay out of this!"

Alright, that's it.

Yukiko walks towards him, rolling up her other sleeve regardless of the increasingly concerned shouts from her friends.

As it turns out, she lied about the face thing.

 

* * *

 

"I just need a break," she says, idly picking at the bandages wrapped around her hand. She should really get Kanji to teach her how to throw a proper punch. "Some time to myself, where people don't already know my name." Where they don't already have a 'Yukiko Amagi' to impose onto her, where she doesn't have her entire life planned out for her, where she doesn't have to smother her flames to a dying spark, not for anyone's sake.

"I guess I can't blame you. A part of me was…" Chie looks away, and the narrow space between them suddenly feels like a gulf. "I used what other people thought of you without realizing how you felt."

"Chie..." Her hand clutches at the edge of the bed. Yukiko takes it, tugging it out of the sheets and threading their fingers together. "I've never had to be anyone but myself around you."

"But that's not enough," she says, too listless, too certain to be an outright protest. "I was so caught up in myself I never realized I'd failed you."

It's the closest they've ever gotten to talking about shadows.

"No wonder you want to leave," she says, and maybe Yukiko's hopelessly projecting when she hears 'no wonder I can't make you stay.'

What could she do? A kiss on the lips seemed a bit too forward. Definitely too forward, definitely not the right situation, why would she even think that. But...

On impulse, Yukiko brings up their hands, fingers still entwined, and presses her lips to the back of Chie's hand. A blush blooms across her face, the sight of it utterly entrancing. Is she the prince now? The thought comes sudden, unbidden, and she can't help but let out a small giggle.

"W-what's so funny?"

"Maybe we're both the prince," she says, and the thought is oddly appealing.

 

**Author's Note:**

> the 'scoring princess' thing is from P4 Arena, by the way
> 
> thanks to [senatsu](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Senatsu/pseuds/Senatsu) & [randomprojects](http://archiveofourown.org/users/randomprojects/pseuds/randomprojects) for the help and support.......... I couldn't have gotten this far without it...............
> 
> title's from [a song by walk the moon](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECBhz_1AaSM) which made me immediately think about the galpals. [someday we'll get it right](www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZ_Q5DqF_Vo) was a runner up, but honestly it was just because I liked the sound of it - the lyrics didn't fit at all. [Indiana](http://danielleatethesandwich.bandcamp.com/track/indiana) was by far the most fitting lyrics-wise, but as a title... eh...
> 
> this fic's had a long time coming - I think I had one line in a word doc for like, three months before I actually got around to starting it. I definitely wanted to include everyone I skipped in Chie's fic, but it was kind of hard - originally, Yukiko and Naoto were going to talk about Chie's emotional intelligence, but as you can see, that Did Not happen. I think this works out better, though.
> 
> I had so much more to say but I've forgotten most of it, whoops.


End file.
